can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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