We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
