she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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