i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
