I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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