yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
