they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
