Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
