i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
