bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
