i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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