We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
