YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
