I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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