She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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