im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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