matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
