I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize