Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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