First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize