I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
