My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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