I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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