Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
