Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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