so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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