His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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