And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
