Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
