In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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