you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize