I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
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