Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
third nipple confirmed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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