god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
