dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
