just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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