You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
