hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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