He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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