And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
