The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
