im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
