just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
