Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
