I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
