Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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