so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
