I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
