I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
