Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
