wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize