We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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