There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
