So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
