Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
