so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
