sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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