bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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