i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
